In a large bowl, mix the softened cream cheese with the ranch seasoning until smooth.
Fold in shredded cheddar, green onions, and half of the crumbled bacon.
Scoop out small portions and roll them into bite-sized balls.
Combine remaining bacon and chopped parsley on a plate. Roll each cheeseball in the mixture to coat.
Chill in the fridge for at least 1 hour to firm up.
Stick a pretzel into each one just before serving. Try not to eat half of them in the process.